Lonely

Old headcanon reminder, but it’s needed to preface this.

Tyson has never felt alone.

Given enough time a room full of monkeys with typewriters will make the complete works of Shakespeare

Tyson has never felt alone because of mathematics. He knows the laws of probability and that there are a finite combination of letters in the English language that make words.

Tyson knows that statistically there are going to be other people who have had the exact same thoughts as him, who likes the same things, who wants the same things. He’d always known this because of mathematics.

Tyson has felt lonely and craved the company of other people but he had never felt alone, because he has never been alone, he isn’t alone, and he will never be alone.

The reassurance that Tyson will never be alone doesn’t stop him from feeling lonely at times. The usual cause for Tyson feeling lonely is seeing friends from afar, rather than a complete absence of them.

When Tyson is on his own or with his dogs, his thoughts rarely stray over to anything that makes him feel lonely. The closest are moments when he’s missing The Colonel, but that’s a pang of loss rather than feeling alone because of Moran’s absence in his life.

Tyson feels the most lonely when he’s walking away from Captain John Watson, knowing that he’s on the other side of the street, but that they have to keep their distance from one another to keep each other safe. Knowing that he may never walk the same path as his former brother in arms ever again.

It’s those moments when he wants to talk to Lestrade, someone who understands the weight of the web from inside whilst also openly disliking the web’s activities, but Tyson knows that he can’t risk blowing the other man’s cover by seeking companionship with him.

Those moments when he’s people watching in the park or at a café and the reality of it hits him.

Usually, those are nice moments for Tyson. Content by seeing others contentment and happiness. Sometimes, however, it hits him that he is entirely outside of that. That Tyson could never simply strike up conversation without putting innocent people at risk: from The Colonel, enemies of the web, and even from within the web itself.